What Coaching Is (and Isn’t)
If you’re here, chances are you’ve been thinking about coaching. Maybe you want a better idea of what it is, and more information before you decide to try it. I applaud you for that! When you’re considering coaching, it’s important to be informed.
There are a lot of misconceptions about coaching these days. Intentionally or unintentionally, there are lots of folks out there presenting themselves as coaches but selling services and products that are misleading and misguided, far from what coaching is really about. Uninformed and unethical coaching practices usually do more harm than good. But good coaches, coaches with appropriate and credible training, who, have experience, care about professional ethics, and who continue to develop their knowledge and skills can provide incredibly valuable help to their clients that can make a positive, sometimes life-changing difference in their lives. So how can you tell the difference?
Image by Daniel Gonzalez via Unsplash
I thought I’d write a few introductory posts about coaching (from this coach’s perspective and approach!) to help set the record straight. In this post, we’ll do a deep dive into what coaching is – and what it isn't. And in later posts, we’ll touch on what kinds of things we do in coaching and why good coaching is so beneficial. I’ll share thoughts on what to look for (and look out for), and ways to go about finding a coach that’s a good fit for you (whether it’s me or another coach). It’s my hope that this will help you be informed as you navigate all the different offerings out there and decide what’s right for you.
What Coaching Is:
I provide the following info on what coaching is and isn’t to new clients before they make the decision to start coaching with me. An ethical coach should always provide you with information or an agreement outlining what coaching is and isn’t before you make a commitment. Hopefully this makes things clear, but ask questions - good coaches want to help you make the right decision for you.
Coaching is a co-creative relationship. You and I will work collaboratively and creatively to navigate your aspirations, challenges, and goals. I will serve as your thought partner, supporting your expanding self-awareness and clarity on your situation, your strengths and possibilities available to you. I’ll help you create and develop personal, professional and/or business goals as well as a plan or strategies for achieving those goals. Coaching is a practical approach to growth. It’s action-oriented. All through the process, you’ll be learning, and also determining the actions you will take to make ongoing progress a reality.
Coaching is like having a friendly co-pilot on your journey— you are at the wheel, and I’m “riding shotgun”, so to speak, ready to help navigate and support you in finding your way on the path toward the growth you want. Coaching follows your lead. It isn’t a proprietary, directive, one-size-fits-all program, but an individualized and adaptive process customized to your situation, wants and needs. It focuses on developing your insight and empowering you to find and achieve what you want out of life professionally and personally.
Image by Caleb Jones via Unsplash
Coaching is thought provoking, an open, honest relationship, a no-judgment zone. It provides you with both a safe space to authentically explore your challenges, goals, and dreams, as well as support to expand your comfort zone, and challenge yourself when appropriate. Coaching can also provide you with accountability to your level of preference, and help you build resilience as you learn from what works and doesn’t.
Coaching starts in the present and looks toward the future. It’s not about having all the answers; it's about working together to find the ones that fit you best. Together, we’ll illuminate the gray areas and uncover practical steps to get you where you want to be, tracking your progress along the way.
What Coaching Is Not:
It can be helpful to consider how coaching is different from other helping professions and roles.
It’s not therapy:
Look at you, getting informed - I like your style! Photo by Cookie the Pom on Unsplash
There are similarities and even some overlap in what coaches and therapists do, but several important differences that set their services apart:
Therapy addresses problems in our lives, often looking to the past. As the ICF explains, “Therapy deals with healing pain, trauma, dysfunction or conflict of some kind, typically with the goal of resolving difficulties that impair an individual’s emotional health and psychological functioning.” Therapists help individuals recognize and cope with problems while supporting them with empathy and understanding.
Coaching addresses possibilities in our lives, looking to the future and how we want to move forward. It’s about growth, and being ready to get even better than we are now. Coaching fuels a client’s potential and helps them take action toward their goals.
Coaches do not diagnose or treat mental health disorders. Coaching is not a substitute for therapy and does not prevent, cure, or treat any mental disorder or medical disease. Empathy and support are important components of the coaching process, but it’s also the coach's job to challenge the client to grow. While the coaching process may include exploring blocks and what holds the client back, coaching is centered on the client using and building on strengths to find ways to move forward.
Given the different fundamental differences and purposes of therapy and coaching, it’s important to be aware of your needs. Depending on one’s situation, working with both a coach and therapist can be helpful. Many folks will start in therapy and then seek coaching. If you are also seeing a therapist, psychiatrist or other treatment professional, it is a good idea to discuss with them your interest in coaching. It is generally recommended that they work with your coach as part of the treatment team.
In my practice, I work with many clients who are neurodiverse or have lived experience with mental health disorders. Often they’ve chosen to work with me because of my background in clinical mental health counseling, my familiarity with mental health challenges and appropriate support, and my own lived experience, in addition to my training and experience as a coach. My background and training has prepared me to recognize when it’s necessary to refer clients to a mental health professional, and how to do so supportively. This is part of a coach’s ethical duty - another reason why working with a coach who has appropriate (and adequate) training and experience is important.
It’s not consulting:
Consultants often work with a whole team or company rather than with individuals. They may assess a client’s situation, and provide them with recommendations, training or solutions to address their needs or solve a problem they’re having. Consultants are paid to give clients recommendations or a plan for what to do.
Coaching is about empowering you to find your own answers, and have ownership over a plan you create for yourself. Coaching is also more personable, centered in authentically helping you find fulfillment in your life. Where consultants may define problems and provide solutions or plans, coaching sets you on a course to be able to identify and solve the problems yourself in the process of working toward your aspirations.
It's not training:
While you will hopefully learn a lot in the process, my role as a coach is not about teaching or training you. As a separate part of my business, I may offer educational resources, workshops and training programs from time to time, but in our coaching work together, I'm here to help you connect with your insight and pursue the knowledge and growth you desire to get you where you want to go. Your wisdom will lead the way.
It’s not mentorship:
Mentors provide subject matter expertise, wisdom, guidance, and advice based on their own experiences, often to less experienced colleagues to help them grow their careers. Mentors often support from the vantage point of their vision of advancement and success, often from a place of influence, helping through guidance and direction. They may make professional connections for their mentees, or recommend them for job opportunities. Coaching is a working relationship, and while I will take an active role, I will not carve out a path for you. Similarly, I will be present for you, collaboratively share ideas, and provide you with support and empathy, but I will be focused on your path to the growth, achievement and life you want, not my own ideas or agenda for growth, experience, or success. This means that in our coaching work together, I will at times challenge you to push beyond your comfort zone, think about things differently, and hold you accountable to the progress you determine you want to make.
Conclusion
Knowing what coaching is and isn’t is a good first step to understanding what to look for when seeking your own coach. I hope this post has helped provide clarity on what I (and many other coaches) believe good coaching is all about. I’ll be writing more about coaching, the kind of work we may do, and why it is helpful.
If you’re interested in exploring coaching, I encourage you to book a time on my calendar! This would be a time to have a conversation, get to know each other a bit, discuss your needs and, if you’re interested, see if we might be a good fit for coaching! As I’ve hopefully expressed in the post above, I encourage my prospective clients to be informed, and make the decision thats right for them — and I think giving them a chance to have a conversation and explore what it would be like to work together with no cost or obligation is the best first step. If you have questions about coaching, or are interested to connect, I hope you’ll reach out!
Until next time,
Julia
